Bloopers of Youth
by Ryuu no Kami
Summary: Too much youth often leads to too much face palming. Team Gai oneshots.
1. The Fashion Failure

**::A/N::** Ah, I have returned again! I've had this idea for a story for a while, and I actually sat down and wrote it. Just some funny little ficlet ideas I've had in my head where too much youth leads to too much humiliation. And who doesn't love laughing at other people's embarrassment?

I apologize ahead of time for OOC-ness, especially with Neji, but in order to have fun, one must bend the rules. But I tried to keep everyone in character as much as I could.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. Because if I did, the show would be called, Team Gai!

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><p><strong>Bloopers of Youth<br>**Blooper #56:  
><em>The Fashion Failure<em>

Team Gai was given their first ever undercover mission at the age of fifteen.

Neji, just being recently promoted to Jounin, had been disgusted at Tsunade's request to join his team's C-Rank mission. However, she had convinced him that they knew very little about their intended target, and the mission could quickly escalate to a B, or possibly A, or if he was extremely lucky, an S. He wasn't holding his breath.

Tenten had been thrilled at the proposal. These kinds of missions usually landed in ANBU hands and were rarely handed over to squads, especially newly promoted Chuunin. Well, maybe more so because the team's dynamism (more so Lee and Gai) wasn't quite what one would want in terms of a secret operation. Still, for whatever reason Tsunade had to have given them this opportunity, she had been honored.

And then there was Lee, who, while jumping around the Hokage's office like the hyperactive child he was, thanked (rather loudly) the Hokage for the privilege. He had no idea what all entailed in an undercover mission, but he was beyond excited for the chance to prove to Gai-Sensei that he was becoming a fine ninja.

Then Tsunade threw the team a curveball, one which caused Lee to create his own space-time rift of crashing waves and sunsets, leaving Tenten to fall victim to his youthful scenario in Gai's stead. And Neji, well, he just walked out of the room without so much a word, a bow, or (thankfully) a chakra infused hand to the smirking Hokage's face.

Lee was going to be the team captain for the mission.

-X-

They had been waiting for hours. Maybe even more; Neji lost track of time after ten minutes. Why did he decide to come along on this mission, no, this _farce _of a mission, again? Their objective was _only_ information gathering. Their target seemed to be a leader of a shinobi alliance consisting of a few missing-nin, and had been known to cause a great deal of trouble in the lands bordering the Fire and Earth countries. The mission demanded they discover their motives, and possibly determine when and where they would strike next. Nothing a few Genin and their Jounin sensei couldn't take care of, which once again led him to the question, _"Why am I here?"_

"Oh, come on. He isn't doing that bad."

Neji looked up across the table at Tenten, whose eyes narrowed at his cold expression. _"Oh yeah, _she _convinced me."_

"This is his first time as team leader, so give him a break."

Or maybe it was the promise of a spar with him when they got back from their mission.

"Are you even listening to me?"

He just leaned back, crossed his arms, and closed his eyes. "We have been sitting here for hours. The restaurant staff thinks we are both insane and are probably wondering why the hell we haven't left. My food has had enough time to grow cold and I don't even care. This damn suit Lee made me wear is ridiculous and people keep staring. Our target has yet to show up, which leads me to believe he is not coming. Which also leads me to believe that we have done nothing but waste our time, eating expensive food, wearing restrictive clothing, while we could have been spending this time training."

There was silence, except for the soft spoken words of the other guests around them. The piano played lightly in the background. A few birds chirped happily outside their window.

He heard her grab her glass. "You done?"

But he did not laugh, or smirk, or even make any facial expression in response to her question. He just sat there and listened to the blood pound in his ears and focused on the pain in his overly-clenched hand. Oh, Tenten was going to regret wanting to spar with him when this was all over with.

She sighed and put her glass back on the table. "Okay, so maybe this wasn't the best spent time, but look on the bright side. We got to sit in a very fancy restaurant reserved for only people with class like the Feudal Lords, and even had a great meal! Well, at least I did."

She was referring to his untouched plate. He had other things to think about than the ridiculous entrée that probably would have cost him an arm and a leg had it not been covered in the mission expenses.

"And besides, you look half decent wearing that suit."

Neji cracked open an eye at this, but all she did was giggle. _Half decent?_ Was that supposed to be an insult?

"Relax," she said after regaining her composure. "You look pretty good in that."

She might have thought that he looked good (which honestly, made the whole dressing up part of the mission that much more bearable) but he still felt restricted. And as much as he was pleased to have caught her attention in the looks department, he really didn't like the other eyes on him.

However, he replied with his trademark grunt. "I will never let Lee decide what I should wear for a mission. Even if he is team leader."

"Oh, it's not that bad. And just think, it could have been green!"

He frowned when she laughed. "You are going to regret sparing with me when we get back home."

"Yeah, yeah," she said with a roll of her eyes. "Whatever you say."

They fell into silence again, and Neji found himself questioning his sanity. He shouldn't have allowed Tenten to drag him along on this waste-of-time mission, but he did. He shouldn't have allowed Lee to pick out the damn suit he was wearing, but he did! He needed a remedy to all his boiling anger, and he needed one fast. He needed to find Lee and show him a thing or two (or maybe a fist or two, or three, or sixty-four palms!) about being team captain.

"There you go, sirs. Enjoy."

The unfamiliar voice snapped Neji to attention. Finally! Their target had appeared! Ah, fate wasn't so cruel now, was it! He looked over Tenten's shoulder to the table behind her, the table their target seemed to favor when dining at this particular restaurant, and began to start profiling the enemy.

Two. Male. Both seemingly middle-aged, possibly early thirties. The one facing him wore dark rimmed glasses; maybe he was the mastermind behind the alliance. From what Neji could speculate from the other, he had to be the strong willed leader they were looking for. He was quite large, very muscular, and he had a scar on the exposed part of his neck, right above the collar of his freshly pressed tuxedo shirt. His hands also bore small cuts and bruises, which would be expected in his line of duty.

He began to think that Lee wasn't doing so bad after all.

The next few minutes were spent conversing over small stuff; the weather, politics, the menu items. But Neji knew the minute the waiter was gone with their order, the bullshit would end and the secrets would start unrolling.

And he was proven correct, for when the server walked away, the nerdy man placed his elbows on the table and leaned his chin into the palms of his hands.

"Let's cut the bullshit. Now, tell me. What the hell was that last stunt about? Do you realize you almost jeopardized everything? Have you forgotten why we came together!"

_This is more like it,_ Neji thought as he continued to listen to the two men. Before the bulky man could answer the question asked, Neji saw a flash of…something out of the corner of his eye. He realized Tenten saw it as well, her back straightening and her eyes wandering around the restaurant.

Not even a split second later, chaos ensued.

"Neji! Tenten! I have asked around the village, and it seems our un-youthful friend shall not be showing himself today! Let us rest before I send word to Tsunade-sama to extend the length of our mission! Then, we can return to Konoha successfully. Gai-Sensei will be so proud of us all! Gai-Sensei, we shall not fail you! We will continue on with the power of youth!"

To Neji and Tenten's horror, the whole restaurant stopped whatever they were doing, and stared, eyes wide and jaws open. The pianist stopped playing. The birds outside even stopped chirping! But above all else, their targets had stopped talking!

Angrily, they both looked up at their loud-mouthed comrade, and froze. All threats of death and pain were caught in their throats at the sight of Lee, wearing a tight green tuxedo, complete with orange sequins on his back to spell out _Youth!_, a bright orange and green checkered bowtie with matching belt, and bright orange combat boots. He even had an orange rodeo hat that glistened in the candlelight! Gods, he didn't even need to say a word to blow their cover! He looked exactly like he had before, just first class material! Minus the hat, which Neji secretly hoped he wouldn't be adapting to his current ensemble.

Shortly after Lee struck the Good Guy pose, completing the humiliation his two teammates, Neji heard the two men, their targets, begin to mumble to themselves. And when they broke the silence by asking the nearest server for their check, Neji couldn't contain himself any longer.

His face met his palm.

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><p><strong>Yeah, not so much likely to happen, but I doubt Tsunade would send them on an undercover mission with Lee as team captain without knowing this is something he would do. I just had fun writing it anyway!<strong>

**Until next time!**


	2. The Cooking Catastrophe

**::A/N::** I had a lot of fun writing this one, so I'm hoping that it turned out as well as I wanted it to. This is set before the first chapter and after all the fillers in the anime. Just in case you couldn't figure that out.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. If I did, Gai would have been nominated for Hokage.

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><p><strong>Bloopers of Youth<br>**Blooper #39  
><em>The Cooking Catastrophe<em>

Neji knew something terrible was going to happen when Lee had interrupted his daily meditation.

After their routine morning spar, Neji and Tenten often decided to take a small break. Tenten would sit under her usual tree to sharpen her weapons before placing them back into their respective scrolls. Every now and then, she would grumble something incoherent, but Neji could decipher it to mean she was not happy that she had lost…again.

Neji would take a seat under his favorite tree, which was directly across from hers, and would go about his meditation. To be quite honest, he had always loved this time of day, which is why he often took a break after their morning spar. It had been beautiful outside; not too cool, not too warm, the noon-day sun had shone through the grove of trees in streams of colorless light. He had debated on trying to count the birds within range of his Byakugan, but for once, he had decided to enjoy the calming music of nature itself.

Neither one of them had spoken a word; Tenten had known better than to disrupt a H.I.M. (Hyuuga in meditation.) And very uncharacteristically, he had thanked her, silently of course. He had continued to listen to the sounds around him, arms and legs crossed in his typical position. He had had about fifteen minutes before Lee and Gai-Sensei were doomed to appear for "Team Youthfullness," a weekly training regimen where Gai trained everyone together. Oh, had he _not_ been looking forward to that.

Then Lee had shot through the forest at an ungodly speed, yelling for his two teammates. Neji had tried to tune him out, but the birds and crickets, and whatever else had been making music, had ceased.

And when Neji opened his eyes to the sight of two large, round eyes leaking with tears like a dam that had lost stability in a flood, blabbering on about "forgetting the youthful luncheon" or whatever, he had nearly jumped out of his skin.

But, being the calm, collected, ever so stoic Hyuuga he was, he had Jyuukened him instead. While Tenten had rushed to help her fallen comrade, Neji had returned to his meditation. He had three minutes left, and he would not be bothered until then.

And the birds had begun to sing again.

-X-

Neji released a breath he didn't even realize he was holding. After Lee regained his composure, he told his friends that Gai-Sensei was postponing their "Team Youthfullness" until the next afternoon. Which could only mean one of two things: Gai was out on a mission, but Neji doubted that, seeing that he saw him earlier that morning and Lee would have said so himself.

That left him with option two: He was off challenging Kakashi.

"Gai-Sensei said that we shall have the rest of the day off to live in the fullness of our youth! And I am in desperate need of your help, youthful friends!"

Neji smirked. Had Lee finally come to his senses and realized he was inferior to someone like him? Knowing that day would never come, other thoughts began to run through his mind, but his thought process came to a halt when Lee fell to his knees and began to sob.

"In all of my youthful training, I have forgotten that tomorrow is our team luncheon. And I am responsible for bringing everything, and I have not made a meal to bring!"

_Team luncheon? _Neji thought, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. He looked over to Tenten and realized that she did not look as confused as he had been. She held his gaze for a second, then looked away shyly and tried to comfort their weeping friend.

"It's alright, Lee. We can just go to the marketplace before we head home and pick up some stuff for tomorrow."

Neji's eyes narrowed. She knew, too? Why didn't he know about this team lunch? He _was_ on their team. Did that mean he was not invited? Not that he would probably go, but still.

Lee stood up and wiped an arm across his face, his eyes now glistening with newfound determination. "Thank you, Tenten! You always lift my spirits up with the power of your youth! Gai-Sensei would be so proud!"

She rolled her eyes and waved off the supposed compliment. "Whatever. What do you want to make then? Do you have any ideas?"

Silence. Lee's eyes darted from Tenten to Neji, as in thinking he would be able to help Lee in his time of need. Still sulking from the idea of being left out, he crossed his arms and looked away.

"Don't expect me to help you. I wasn't even informed of this team lunch."

He heard Tenten stifle a laugh. Why did she think it was funny to leave him out of the loop? Despite what people might have thought, he had developed a bond with his team (well, more so Tenten than Lee, and…maybe not so much Gai) and couldn't help but felt slightly betrayed.

"Please, my youthful rival! Your knowledge will be much appreciated! I will make the best team lunch you will ever have! That is a promise!"

Neji took that to mean he was invited, so he replied with his usual 'hn,' to let him know he would tag along. Throwing a fist into the air, Lee turned and began to lead the way into the heart of Konoha.

While Lee was turning ideas over in his head, Neji shot a glare over to Tenten. "Why was I not told about this lunch?"

"Well…" She paused after a moment. Neji knew what she was doing. She was raking her brain for a legitimate excuse to tell him because she _forgot_ to tell him. Apparently realizing what she was doing, she sighed. "Gai-Sensei doesn't know either."

He narrowed his eyes, clearly disappointed with her answer. _That was the best she could come up with?_

"Okay, Lee and I decided on this a while back when you were away on a mission. We just…oh, fine. I'm sorry, Neji. I should have told you. But we have only had two, both of which when you were gone."

Neji felt slightly relieved for a moment, but then another thought began eating at him. If this was a "team" lunch, but Gai and Neji knew nothing about it, then…Tenten had been eating _alone_ with Lee! That qualified as a _date_! Oh, when he got his hands on Lee, he would make him regret spending quality time alone with _his_ partner!

"Uh…what's wrong?"

Hearing her voice snapped him out of his murderous haze. He forced his muscles to relax and fought to keep his "killing aura" to a minimum to avoid any strange looks from passing civilians.

But he just _had _to know. But he wouldn't ask. No, he did not seek gossip like that Yamanaka girl. Instead, he stated it as a fact. "So, you and Lee are dating, then."

The way her body froze on the spot like she had been trapped in some kind of mind-transfer jutsu almost made him laugh. But he was Neji Hyuuga, and he did not laugh. He settled for a smirk instead.

"Wait…_what?_" she asked when she had regained her ability to speak. She was flustered, and Neji loved it. "You think that me and Lee are _dating_? Just because of an idea we had?"

He would not let her be the one to ask the questions. He wanted _his_ question answered first. "Why have you not informed me of this either?"

She was turning bright red, he hoped more from anger than from embarrassment. She crossed her arms and angrily turned her head away from him, closing her eyes to calm herself down. She started to walk off, and did not face him when she spoke again.

"I did not tell you because there is nothing—,"

Before she could finish, her chin collided with Lee's shoulder, who sprang up from his crouched position (Neji had no idea why he was crouching in the middle of the street) to turn to his teammates.

"I have the most youthful idea for my meal for tomorrow's luncheon!"

Tenten, who bit her tongue from Lee's little stunt, took the hand she was not using to nurse her injured jaw, and slapped him upside the head.

"That hurt, Lee!"

Neji almost found the scene comical. Lee was apologizing and bowing his head every few seconds, promising to do one thousand push-ups and run one thousand laps as punishment, and Tenten kept glaring at him, her hand still covering her mouth.

Then, he noticed that Lee was holding something in his hands. While the scene continued on before him, he discovered the reason Lee had been crouching in the middle of the road. He had stopped to pick up…a turtle?

Curiosity got the better of him. "Lee, why are you holding a turtle?" Surely he was not going to cook the thing, was he?

Looking past the still-fuming Tenten, Lee held the little guy up to his chin and smiled right above his shell.

"He has given me a wonderful idea on what to make for tomorrow's luncheon!"

After a few moments of confused silence, Tenten shook her head. "You're not going to cook him, are you?"

Lee's eyes grew wide in fear. "No, dearest flower! That goes against my morals of youth! I was going to take him home with me, and he shall be my pet! Now Gai-Sensei and I have our own ninja turtles!"

Neji and Tenten both stared at Lee in disbelief as he lifted his tiny new pal into the air, tears pouring out of his eyes.

"Oh, my youthful animal friend, I am pleased to be your new owner!"

Tenten spoke up before they were sucked into the "Youthful Scenario" of sunsets and crashing waves. "Um, Lee, we need to get some food sometime today, or have you forgotten?"

Lee flashed a Good Guy pose and placed his reptilian friend on his shoulder. "You are right, Tenten! Let us go grab ingredients for my youthful masterpiece!"

He took off, leaving Neji and Tenten to follow behind him, their minds pondering what kind of masterpiece Lee was going to cook up.

And for once, Neji was scared out of his mind.

-X-

Neji walked very slowly to their training grounds, his body sensing the approaching danger that was Lee's concoction. He had spent all night trying to figure out what kind of food came to mind when he thought of turtles, but came up empty handed and extremely frustrated. He then wondered if Lee even knew how to cook. Regardless, three large paper bags stuffed with one of everything Konoha had to offer in terms of food left Neji with one thought.

Inedible.

He had made the comment before departing the marketplace that he would not be going, but Tenten had snapped, saying that if he didn't want to feel left out again, he would show up. So, he was going. But not so much because he would feel left out if he didn't.

He wanted to grace this "luncheon date" with his presence. He would _not_ let Lee have any more time alone with her if he could help it!

When he arrived at their meeting spot around noon, he was greeted by a flashing white ping, meaning Lee was there and _very_ happy to see him.

"Neji, my youthful rival! It is good to see you!"

Lee had already turned their training grounds into a picnic area: checkered blanket (albeit green and orange) with four placemats: one for each of them, and to his disgust, one for the turtle Lee had picked up the day before. There were four stacked plates, four plastic cups, and four forks lying right next to two large containers. Neji didn't even have to guess what lay inside those closed contraptions.

_Death._

_Maybe I can convince him I am not hungry,_ he thought as his heart began to pound in his chest. He took a seat next to Tenten, who he saw was watching him curiously from the corner of his eyes, but his only train of thought at that time was the containers of poison.

"Alright, my youthful friends, let us eat!"

As Lee spooned rice on to each plate, Neji swallowed a lump in his throat. Why was he feeling he was going to regret this?

He watched as Lee opened the second container and used another spoon to dish out its contents. Whatever it was, it did _not_ look edible. It was black and lumpy, and soon discovered very thick as he watched Lee pour it over the rice. Steam rose from the plate as he handed it to Neji.

Slowly, he took the plate that Lee offered him, his breathing irregular. The world seemed to be moving in slow motion, the blood pulsing in his ears in sync with his erratic heartbeat. His mind raced to find an excuse, a reason, _anything_ to help him escape from the situation he was currently in. He stared at the boiling, tar-like substance, and cringed. He would have rather asked Gai for a pair of green spandex and happily trot around Konoha pretending to be Lee then eat this pile of goop!

"Eat up, my youthful rival! I have spent all night and all morning preparing this so you could tell me how you like it! Please, tell me what you think!"

Neji felt two sets of eyes on him, and he could feel a bead of sweat run down the side of his face.

"Come on, Neji. Eat it."

Whoever said don't give in to peer pressure obviously didn't have any peers to receive pressure from. He could easily have dropped the dish and walk away, but he considered Lee a friend. Maybe not the best of friends, but a friend nonetheless. He couldn't just walk away from something Lee had poured his heart and soul into making _just_ for him. The least he could do was try it. And as much as he didn't want to offend Lee, he knew he would _never_ hear the end of it from Tenten if he walked away now.

Gathering all his strength, his courage, and his _sanity_, he quickly shoved a spoonful of the slop into his mouth before he changed his mind.

"How is it? Did I do well?"

Lee's question fell on deaf ears as Neji suddenly realized what he had eaten.

_No!_

His hands shot up to his neck, scratching furiously as the small amount of partaken food exploded into a blazing fire in his throat. He tried to speak, to cough, to _breathe_ but his lungs were soon caught up in the intensified flames. His vision grew cloudy from the lack of oxygen to his brain as he frantically tried to inhale, but the damn air molecules burned to nothingness before they even reached his mouth. He couldn't even see, or hear, the reaction of his teammates (who were staring at Neji's convulsing body in a state of panic) as he collapsed to the ground.

He felt hands on his shoulder, trying to shake him out of his current condition, but the fire was still burning in his throat, his lungs, his brain, his stomach, until finally, with one last gasp for air, he blacked out.

"Neji? _Neji!_ Oh…what have I done, Tenten?"

Tenten shook Neji harder, but to no avail. She even went as far as to slap him (hell, it worked on Lee) but he _still _did not wake up. She shot a terrified look to Lee, who was now trying _his_ best to wake up their unconscious comrade.

"Lee, what did you put in that? What is it?"

His teammate's plight forgotten for the moment, Lee shot Tenten a thumbs up, followed by a familiar ping.

"That, dearest flower, is my own recipe for the Curry of Life!"

This time, it was Tenten who face palmed.

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><p><strong>Sadly, the turtle scene was an idea for another piece, but it fit well in this one. And when I think Curry of Life, I remember the poor turtle that was thrown into the pot. Hence, another reason I added it here.<strong>

**Until next time!**


	3. The D Rank Disaster

**::A/N::** This was supposed to be a series of a couple missions, but I wrote too much with the kitty, so I stuck to the one. This one is written more in Tenten's perspective instead of Neji's, so it will be a tad different from the previous ones. Hope it is still good.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. If I did, Naruto would be a spin-off of Rock Lee's Springtime of Youth, and not the other way around.

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><p><strong>Bloopers of Youth<br>**Blooper #2  
><em>The D-Rank Disaster<em>

The first mission Team Gai was deployed on was the same as every other Genin in Konoha: find and rescue the lost cat, Tora, the daimyo's wife's loyal pet.

Neji saw no reason to track down the animal. He deserved to be sent on more challenging missions. Finding a precious pet that the owner never seemed to keep track of was too beneath him. Why couldn't the cat have been kidnapped by rouge ninja, or something mildly interesting? However, he knew his place, and therefore, did not argue with the Hokage. When he finished the minute long debriefing, Neji bowed politely, and walked out the door.

Tenten didn't seem so thrilled either. The excitement on her face quickly faded into disappointment as she continued to listen to what was required in their mission. Even if they were Genin, she still hoped that they could have been sent on something a little more promising for their first mission. But she, like Neji, knew better than to say so, and followed her stoic teammate out of the room.

And then there was Lee.

"YOSH! Thank you, Hokage-sama for this opportunity! We shall not fail you! We will rescue this poor creature from the depths of loneliness and return her to her rightful owner! If I cannot do that, then I will do one hundred laps around Konoha!"

Neji had growled. Tenten had rolled her eyes. Lee had scared the birds sitting outside the window with his obnoxiously loud proclamation.

As the three of them left the tower to embark on their first team mission, Neji could only hope that this cat would claw at Lee's vocal cords, forever rendering him silent, or at least, less enthusiastic. Then maybe this mission wouldn't be so bad after all.

When he thought that his day couldn't get any worse, the Green Beast known as Gai descended upon them, crushing them into a "youthful" embrace. As Gai-Sensei shed tears of happiness for his students' first mission, Neji tried to worm his way out of his grasp. When Gai only tightened his hold, (earning a grunt from Tenten and an "Oh, Gai-Sensei, I shall make you proud" from Lee) Neji cursed.

Fate truly was a cruel thing.

-X-

They walked through the same grove of trees for an hour, and Tenten was annoyed with both her teammates. Neji hadn't said a word, which was fine, but he wasn't helping them at all. Lee's hands were cupped around his mouth to amplify his voice (like he needed it) and shouted, "Here, kitty!" at every tree. Her head was pounding. This must have been a test. If any Genin could return the older woman's pet without killing their teammates, they deserved a promotion.

And finally, they found her! Well, Tenten and Lee did. She had a feeling Neji had spotted their "target" a while back when he de-activated his Byakugan with a scowl, but he never told them where she could be found. She understood his disgust with the mission, but she thought that he would at least help out. The sooner they found Tora, the sooner they could return for a _real_ mission.

But she wasn't about to tell him that.

Lee was pointing up to the top of a tree, a wide smile on his face. "Tenten, Neji! I have found her!"

Tenten walked up to the tree to confirm Lee's findings. There laying on one of the larger, thicker branches, was a brown cat with a red bow on her ear. Target spotted! Now, they faced a new dilemma: how to reach her.

"How do we get her down if 'here kitty' will not work?" Lee asked, a serious expression on his face.

Tenten rolled her eyes. "Well," she stated, glancing up at the problem in search of a solution. "It looks like if we could reach the lower branch, then we could reach Tora from there."

"YOSH! Let me go, Tenten! It will let me prove that my cat-retrieving skills are number one! Then, Gai-Sensei will be proud!"

Neji scoffed, deciding to join in the conversation. "Lee, you can't control your chakra well enough to climb up the tree to reach that branch."

Lee's reaction was priceless. "Oh! You think _that_ will stop me?" he snapped angrily, pointing a finger at the Hyuuga. "I will also prove to you that I can find a way to save this poor creature from the danger she currently faces! Even if I cannot walk up this tree, there is bound to be a way I can offer my help!"

Neji smirked and prepared to fire a comeback when Tenten spoke first. "Anyway, we're on a mission here, so stop arguing like children." She stepped between the fuming Lee and the sneering Neji, glaring equally at both of them. "The sooner we find a way to get her down, the sooner we can get a better mission."

Though she felt rather proud of herself for her outburst, she knew if Neji and Lee continued the verbal jousting, they would end up fighting each other. And she couldn't allow that to happen over something as trivial as a cat.

"Now," she said after her teammates simmered down. "Lee, give me a boost and I will get the cat down myself."

Lee's expression dropped. "Oh, but I wanted to get her down."

She would not waste her time arguing over who would play hero. She just wanted to get this over with, and go home. "I am _not_ about to lift you up only to have you scare the cat away."

But Lee did not give in. "Neji could help you."

They both looked over to Neji, who she had actually forgotten was standing in the vicinity. He glared at both of them and crossed his arms in defiance. So much for his help.

"Come on, Lee. We don't have time for this!"

Finally, he dropped the issue and placed his hands out in front of him. She held onto his shoulder for support, then placed her foot on his hands and he hoisted her up. She grabbed a hold of the branch and pulled herself up. With each leg draped around the branch, she pressed her back against the tree to plan out her next move.

"Can you reach her, Tenten?" Lee shouted from below as she began to inch her way slowly towards the animal. Using one hand to steady herself on the branch, she reached out with her other to grab Tora. When the cat hissed at her, she immediately withdrew her hand. How was she going to get her down if she wouldn't let her come close enough to grab her?

"Be careful, Tenten!" He must have seen her retract her hand. Slightly embarrassed, (Neji would have seen it, too) she shook her head and took a deep breath. This was a frightened animal, and she had to admit, she was a little nervous. Scared cats often attacked, and Tora looked ready to kill her if she came too close again.

But this was a mission, and she would not let the feline creature get the better of her. She reached out once more and tried to ignore Tora's snarling and hissing. She continued to extend her hand, and just when she thought she had her, Tora sprang from her branch and latched on to her arm.

Tenten bit back a surprised shriek as the cat clawed and bit into her flesh to keep from falling to the ground. She heard Lee call out to her from below, but nothing mattered at the moment other then removing the cat-turned-demon from her arm. She tried swinging her arm in an effort to remove her, but that only seemed to make the animal's grip tighten. When she lifted the hand used for support to snatch her from her bleeding forearm, Tora retaliated with a swipe to her face.

That was the last straw. Fighting back the pain-induced tears from Tora's last attack, Tenten grabbed the feline by the scruff of her neck and yanked her from her arm, tearing her skin even more in the process. Before she even had time to realize what she was doing, she chucked the cat into the air. However, she realized too late that by hurling the monster into the sky, she had lost her balance on the branch.

Before she knew it, her right side (along with her injured arm) collided with the hard ground. She thought she heard something snap, and this time, she couldn't contain her cry of pain. Where the hell was Lee, and why didn't he catch her? Or Neji?

She soon realized why. Through her distorted vision, she could see Lee frantically running around, screaming the cat's name. Lee was still looking for Tora, which meant she hadn't come down yet, and that meant she had thrown her pretty high up. She could guarantee that cat would _never_ mess with her again!

But when she looked over at Neji, she couldn't contain her amusement. The fury known as Tora had fallen right on his shoulder, gripping the sleeve of his shirt before she hit the ground, then proceeded to take her fear and anger out on _his_ arm and _his_ face.

And all Lee could do was laugh.

-X-

After a quick stop at the hospital, Team Gai continued on their way to the Hokage Tower. Tenten had in fact fractured her elbow in her fall and bruised a couple ribs. Her arm was covered in bandages from the wrath of Tora and then kept in a sling to avoid movement. The medical staff had even told her that she wouldn't be allowed to train until her elbow had healed! Then, she had to deal with all the curious looks from strangers when they saw the four gashes across her face! And to top it all off, Neji was the one who had gotten off lucky, with just minor cuts to his arm, shoulder, and face.

How was she going to explain the cuts, the fracture, and the hostility that was bound to erupt when they reached the Hokage's office? She didn't even want to think of his reaction. This was a simple D-Rank mission, which had ended up with more casualties than a Genin squad completing a C! She had a feeling they would not be given that exciting mission for a long time.

And then there was Tora, who was currently unconscious, thanks to Neji. Unable to subdue the wild creature, he had closed off enough chakra points (if that's even possible in a cat) to render her unconscious. Which, sadly, Tenten had been grateful for.

Until now.

The daimyo's wife was _not_ happy. Tenten, Neji, and Lee stood quietly and listened to the rather large lady continue to berate them for hurting her precious pet. Obviously, she didn't look around at them, because she would have seen Tenten's bandaged arm in a sling with claw marks on her face, and Neji's torn sleeve from where Tora dug her paws into his shirt, his face also bearing gashes. Tora was _not_ the only victim here.

She left soon after, and there was an eerie silence that followed. Tenten didn't even want to look up at the Hokage. He was probably beyond disappointed with their operation.

Neji was the first to break the silence. "I need to report back to my family." He was acting quite calm, but Tenten had a feeling he was extremely agitated and doing his best to hide it. With a respectful bow, he turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him.

"So," the older man said, taking a second to inhale from his pipe. "What exactly happened?"

Before Tenten could answer, Lee dropped to his hands and knees and placed his forehead on the floor. "Please, Hokage-sama, we meant no harm to Tora! It was all an accident! Please forgive us!"

And Lee began relaying the events of the day. How Lee had been the first to find her in the tree (well, technically Neji was, but he was the first to say so). How he helped Tenten climb up to reach her, and when Tora had attacked, she tossed the cat off of her arm, and in the process, fell off the tree. And then, finally, how the cat landed on Neji and attacked him, leaving him no choice but to knock the poor creature out.

When Lee lifted his head, asking once more for forgiveness, Tenten raised her eyes and braced for a retort from their leader.

What she didn't expect, however, was the Hokage to slap himself on the forehead.

* * *

><p><strong>The Hokage looks like a guy who would face palm a lot. And I had no other way of knocking out Tora, so I hope that wasn't too far fetched. I mean, the ninja dogs all have to have some kind of chakra flow...right?<strong>

**Until next time! **


End file.
